Standing Together

I have this dream.   It is a dream that stirs deep in my heart and is never very far from me.

My dream looks like this. I am standing in church surrounded by thousands of people.   We are standing in the pews all packed together and no one has elbow room.   Everyone is singing.   We are all singing the same song and our voices mix together and become one.   One voice that reaches the Light.  Our Light.  The One who loves us and created us and knows us.   We are praising Him and the joy overflows.

I stop singing for a moment and I look around because I know something is different.   The people that surround me are NOT the same people that come with me to Mass every Sunday.   I look closer and really see them.   I smile and sing louder and my heart sings with joy.   This is heaven.  I know it is heaven because I have never seen anything like it in my whole life.  Everything is different. 

I know in that moment that each person in the church with me went on a journey to get here.   A hard journey.  And, each person's journey was different but it led them to this place.  This place where we can all stand together and sing.

The Catholic, the Methodist, the Baptist, the Lutheran, the Mormon, each and every denomination was present.  We no longer found a need to separate ourselves.

The Christian, the Buddhist, the Muslim, the Jew, the Hindu, each and every religion was present.

We all were one in that moment.

The murderer, the liar, the thief, the abortionist, the homosexual, the abuser, the molester, the adulterer, the hater, the cheat, the sloth, the polygamist, the violent, the prideful.   They were all standing in the pews next to me.  Each of us had our own sin yet we could all stand together because of our God.

No matter what any doctrine has taught me this is what I believe to be true.   This is the dream that God has placed into my heart.  God is love.  God is forgiveness.  God loves us all.

My heart longs for this place of togetherness.  When we can finally all stand together and stop judging each other.   A place where we can love each other no matter our differences and we can glorify the One who loves us the most.

For now, I will stand in my church and at my bible study surrounded by fellow Christians.  In these places I will worship, study, and glorify God because this is where I find my home, my strength, and my joy.  Yet, secretly, I long for this place where everyone is welcomed and cherished.  A place where no one is condemned for their beliefs, their sins or their journey.  A place we can stand together and put everything else aside.  A place where we can stop trying to convert and change each other and just love each other.

My dream for today since we are not in heaven yet is that we put aside every label, every judgement, every condemnation and we do the one thing that our God has asked us to do:  To love Him above everything else and then to love our neighbor as our self.    I think if we do that we may just find our own little heaven on earth.

A Magical Weekend

The days and months that followed Amaya's brain tumor diagnosis were heart wrenching.   We knew what she was facing but, it just seemed that every time we started to feel OK about her treatment we received more bad news.   It was inoperable.   It was not responding to chemo.  It grew at an astonishing rate.   It was a time when we were always holding our breath and onto each other.

On very short notice Amaya and her family packed up their lives and moved to Denver for the summer.   Over a course of 6 weeks, she received radiation treatments everyday to shrink her growing brain tumor.   After her treatments, she returned home and went back to her normal life.   She started school and hasn't missed a beat.   Then, it was just a waiting game.  We had to wait several months before Amaya would return to Denver to see the results of the radiation.  During this time, we would all search her eyes for any signs of what was to come.    We analyzed her every behavior and and never stopped thinking about that tumor and what it was doing inside her head.

The day came.   It was time to take a look at "Boogernotlicous".    I held my breath all that day.   I sat and stared at my cell phone, knowing she was in the MRI machine.   I played our favorite song by the Imagination Dragons and sang it at the top of my lungs and tears streamed down my face.  Waiting.  Just waiting.

I just knew we had to be in Denver with her after she met with her Dr.'s and we got the results of the radiation.  We had to be there by her side no matter what.  We all needed to be together.   I loaded all the kids in the car and we drove to the airport still waiting to hear the news.   I remember sitting on the floor in the airport playing with the kids when the phone call came in from Megan.

I was afraid to answer but, I picked up the phone.    I heard Megan say, "it's shrinking, the tumor is shrinking".  I took a deep breath.   Waves of relief washed over me as a big smile came over my face.   I jumped up and down and screamed.   Yep, everyone around us looked but, I didn't care.   I did my crazy Aunt Kris dance for Amaya and took a picture of it.   It was an amazing moment.

Here are the pictures taken of Amaya's tumore.  The middle picture was taken the day we found out about the tumor.   The first picture is what it looked like after 1 month of chemotherapy treatments and the last picture was after radiation.  What a reason to be thankful!

We landed in Denver, ready to celebrate!  And, we did.   We rented a house in Nederland, Colorado and spent the whole weekend together just knowing that tumor had shrunk and being so thankful.

This place we stayed was spectacular.   It was magical.  In fact, I don't even think I can explain in words how beautiful this place was or how special it was to be all together during this time.   My pictures will have to speak those words for me.   

Colorado Time

When you know your time is short it makes things so much sweeter.   Time spent on top of a mountain where all you have is each other and the magnificent view.   The days are unforgettable and you don't long to be anywhere else in the world.   Just living in the present moment cherishing the time that you have.

 I love this picture of me and Megan.    She is not only my sister but, she is my best friend.   We got to stand on top of this mountain together that day and I love remembering that time.   Yet, I also cherish the closeness that we feel at a distance.   I wait each day for our phone call.   Usually about 3:00.  We usually only talk about our day and the kids and what we are cooking for dinner but, it means the world to me.    We don't live close but, it doesn't really seem to matter.   We are walking this journey through our lives closer than ever.

 And the distance doesn't matter to the kids.   They just love being together no matter what.  Here they all are.  Such a cute bunch.

One afternoon we decided to get out and explore the mountains a little bit.   Here we are on our family hike.    

The first interesting site was an old hippy van that was left abandoned.  I guess those hippies just parked it there and decided never to leave.

 

  Look how tall and beautiful Amaya is.  My words will never begin to describe what an amazing young woman she is.   Everybody knows it and is in awe of her.   I feel so privileged to be her Aunty Kris and to be able to stand beside her and watch her grow up.  

 

 

Our next little adventure happened to be a hike around a beautiful mountain lake.

 

 

And, you can't just walk by such a beautiful place with at least trying to get your feet wet.

 

 

For those that who couldn't make the jump over to the log, the mud puddle did just fine.   What is it with kids and mud puddles anyway?

 

A daddy and his girls. 

 

Gabe looks so grown up in the picture.   I love his Arkansas sweatshirt.   We got this on our fishing trip to Arkansas in the "Money Pit".  And, his most favorite hat in the whole world that his Aunt Megan got for him (which he never takes off).  Quite a handsome 10 year old.

 

 

We walked around the lake and found a quiet place to sit.   We sat together to watch the ducks and throw rocks in the water. 

 

 

 

We had a wonderful hike and too soon it was time to head back to the house and cook dinner so we could sit in the hot tub.

 

 

After dinner,  I found these three sitting on the swing behind the house.  It was so cute that I made everyone get up there for a picture.

 

 

And, we took some family pictures.  They turned out really good.   The view sure was unbeatable.

 

 

 

So very thankful for this time that we got to spend together.   So very thankful that Boogernotlickous is shrinking.  So thankful that I took all these pictures to remember our time here.  And, I just know that someday we will have to go back!

 

 

Just before we left we had another little surprise.  This Arizona boy got to remember what it was like to stand out in the snow.