Camping

Several weekends in a row this past summer, Bryan took the boys camping.  He tried to convince me to bring Grace and come along.   I didn't want to go camping with a 18 month old.   I knew what was involved.  Eating dirt, falling down, and being overtired.   No, thank you.   I wasn't ready for camping just yet.  

But, Grace cried every time her dad and brothers pulled out of the driveway.  She didn't want to be left out and I couldn't resist those big crocodile tears anymore.   So, one weekend we loaded the Tahoe with the boys and all our food and camping gear and headed up to the mountains.

  

This is my favorite picture from the weekend.   Me and my kids in the Arizona mountains.

Yet, don't let this angelic picture fool you.   Bryan and I will both tell you that when you take 4 children anywhere there is noise, chaos, and a lot of patience involved.

This is not the place where we went to relax, enjoy nature, and find inner peace.    At some point in the weekend when everyone was whining, hungry, and overtired we looked at each other and wondered why we do this to ourselves.  Why aren't we at home sitting in front of the TV or in Hawaii on a beach somewhere for that matter?

It makes me remember that moment in the car after we had everything packed up from our weekend and were ready to head home when Bryan realized that he couldn't find his wallet.   The last place we remembered seeing it was the night before in the tent pocket on the side of the tent.   But, the tent was all packed and we had struggled to get it up on the roof of our car and strapped safety down just moments before.    At this point, there may have been some cuss words involved.   So, we climbed up there again and unloaded everything and located that wallet and for the second time that day were ready to head back down to the valley.

Yet, I look back at these pictures and it becomes perfectly clear to me.  These are the times that we want our children to remember.  The place we spent time outside camping together.

A place when a father and his son worked together to put up a tent. 

 

 

A place where we didn't get much sleep but, we were all close to each other and could hear the owls in the middle of the night.

 A place where we got really dirty, ate junk food, and roasted marshmallows.

Where we went for long walks and made our own toys.

 

 

Where we found rocks to climb on and little sister had to join us also.

 

 

  A place where you can find a lawn chair to snuggle up in with your "Butty" and sleep the afternoon away.

 

 

 Memories of all the chaos fade and all I can remember is the good time we had.  I'm almost ready to give camping another shot.  Almost.....maybe next year.

Thanks, Pop!

Double Digits

Gabriel turned 10 years old.    Gabriel at age 10 is a pretty amazing young man.   He is full of more life and energy then can easily be expressed here.   He is constantly in motion.   If he is not telling one of his famous "Gabe stories", he is singing, whistling, playing his recorder or making some other sort of noise.  He always has a ball in his hands.  Baseball, football, basketball...anything that he can throw.   More often then not either myself or Bryan is telling him to BE QUIET.  "Gabe, be quiet".  "Gabe, stop throwing that ball".  "Gabe, STOP THAT".

Every morning he wakes up early.   He is always the first one up.   He was just born that way (very unlike his mother or father).   He doesn't seem to mind that he usually has to entertain himself until everyone else decides to wake up at an hour that is much more reasonable.

Gabriel is a true leader and thrives on helping people or bossing them around whichever way you look at it.   He loves showing people how to do things and is usually telling his brothers where to go and what to do.  When playing a game, he loves organizing and telling everyone their positions.   He is also a very good coach, always teaching his brother the proper way to throw a baseball or football.

Gabriel is so very smart.   He can read something once and remember it forever.   School comes easy to Gabriel and when he feels confident he excels at everything he does.   Yet, he also has a part of him that struggles with authority and the whole structure of school.   It never fails, before he can show his true potential he has to test every boundary, every teacher, every classroom.   For the past several years, most of his grades were failing before he brought them back up to A's and B's.   It used to frustrate me but now I just take everything away that he loves and he then he starts to work hard and bring his grades back up.

Gabriel is kind and sweet.  He loves his little brothers and sister and always amazes me with his thoughtfulness.   He rose extra early on Grace's birthday and came in my room to tell me that he wanted to make her a birthday present.   He said he wanted to learn to sew on a button so he could make her another "butty" (her banket that she loves that has buttons in it).   He cut out material and with some help sewed three buttons on it for his little sister.   Then, he got out a some paper and made her a card with buttons all over it and he laid it all out on the table for her before she got up.   Oh such sweetness!

Gabriel is always the one reminding me of what is really important.   When I am upset he is always the one to put things into perspective for me.   Just the other day as we were praying for Amaya he reminded me that we should be thanking God for shrinking her tumor.  He said "Mom, her tumor is going to be gone so just say thank you".   Yep, Gabe....you are so right.   Just be thankful!  He was given a biblical name after Gabriel, the angel.  Gabriel is a messenger for God, appearing to Mary and other people in the bible.   Gabriel is my messenger.   My first born.  My son.

Gabriel is an awsome baseball player.   He plays 1st base for his team, The Tigers.   He is loyal to his coaches and teammates and works very hard at every practice and every game.   He is very proud of his accomplishments and never complains about all the practices and games.  When he doesn't perform well or makes a mistake he always takes it so hard.   I love to watch my son play baseball.   He is out there giving it his whole heart and living in the moment.   He is doing something he loves and working hard at the same time.

My son is pretty amazing.    Double digits already.   So proud of him!

He also loves to design and make birthday cakes.  This year he wanted a Pokemon cake.   So here it is.  A big Pokeball.

Here are some pictures of the 10th birthday party.   He got an Xbox for his birthday and loves to play on it with his friends.    There were 4 friends, a pool party, pizza, and a slumber party.   What more could a 10 year old ask for?

Compassionate Sister

I read something today that spoke to my heart.   That said the words that I have been feeling for weeks but haven't been able to say.  A woman named Iyanla Vanzant wrote them in her book "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up.

I wanted to write them here so that I never forget.   I don't ever want to forget the time that I stood by my sister through one of the scariest times in her life.   I didn't always do and say the right things.  In fact, I probably didn't most of the time.    Yet, I stood beside her each second.  I was a phone call away waiting patiently for her to need me.  I stood beside her in the hospital waiting for Amaya to get out of surgery.   I listened and I demanded that she ask more questions.   I prayed.   I prayed with tears that soaked my pillows and my clothes.  When I couldn't pray, I called my friends to pray.   Our lives are forever changed and we are so very blessed.

I love my sister more today then I ever have.   I love her.  I respect her.  I am in awe of her.   The strength and wisdom that she posesses. Her ability to remain positive and concentrate on what is needed at the time.   I feel like I am the luckiest person alive because I was able to stand with her and be so close to her as she navigated this thing called a brain tumor.   I am so blessed by it all.

Here are Iyalana's words and I only hope that someday I can look back and say that I did these things for my sister.  That I was a compassionate person in every sense of this word.

A compassionate person is one who understands what you are going through and, rather than joining with you in your suffering and fear, sees for you the lesson, the blessing, and the victory in the end.  A compassionate person does not join in the victim mentality of blaming others; instead they will stand strong with you, supporting you through the acceptance of the situation.  The compassionate person knows with you, for you, and when necessary in spite of you, that all things work together for your good.  It takes vision to be compassionate.

Many of us believe that compassion is to see what someone needs, and to give it to them in order to make them and yourself feel better.   It is hard to watch someone suffer.   It's even harder when you are not suffering.  When you see it, you feel bad for the other person and jump in to save them.  Well, maybe they don't need saving.  Maybe what they need is support in making a decision, or information that will help them reframe their situation so that they are empowered to handle it for themselves.

Compassionate people do not help, they support because they know that to support you means they will also help you heal and grow.  They want what is best for you, not because they think they know what is best, but because your best is their best.  You see, a compassionate person is in it with you for the long haul, with no expectations other than they are able to do what needs to be done.

Megan, I love you.  I am beyond blessed to have you for a sister and each day I only want one thing.  To be your compassionate sister.  The one who is always there.  The one who stands by you no matter what and loves you stronger everyday.  That walks this journey with you and reminds you how loved and blessed you are.  And I know without a doubt that you feel the same about me.